The Best of TEAM[SMUT]

This is going to be a SMUTastrophe..

Saturday, January 31, 2004

Abu reporting in...apparently, that's what eckert has taken to calling me... When I first saw Aladdin I told my dad I wanted a monkey named Abu and he said, "you know, you probably have an uncle or two named Abu."

All I gotta say is, "Drugs are bad ummmk."

Girls DO remember the things they did when they were drunk and are in control of the actions they take when they are drunk. The next day they use being drunk as an excuse for their bad behaviors which they were consciously aware of.

- R w L super SMUT

Last night had to be one of the craziest nights at UAlbany.. everyone was so drunk and merry.. i just kept drinking.. beer and whiskey.. beer and whiskey... to the point where i kept vomiting and people had to take care of me..

Thanks to everyone who looked out for me shouting out the BiG SMUT, Jeff, and Abby..

Tonight i am not drinking.. perhaps psychedelics and cannabis?

K**** watch that eye!

- R w L super SMUT

5 more months...just 5 more..I'm about to go to the mall to buy some clothing...yesterday at lunch an entire table of 10th grade girls decided to give me the "look" (because of my "eckert" post on this blog) so I made fun of them which is fun...I don't think they realize how everyone in the 12th grade enjoys mocking them. Ohhh well.

Alright...I'm thinking SMUT dinner tonight but I have a feeling it won't pan out...I'll try to organize. I'll call people.

i've been vomiting for the last 3 hours

Friday, January 30, 2004

whats good my fellow [SMUT]s...
i hope all of you had great success either in the high school midterms or the semester finals. Now that the hard shit is over, i say we all go out an enjoy the fruits of our labor, aka go out and be sociable. ive been doing my part in the "go out when bob is not here" department, where is everyone else? This weekend, everyone better have a story to tell about how awsome there saturday night was, or how they had such an awsome time watchin the superbowl. If you dont go out becuase you chose not to, well thats another story, but remember, a hermit crab can only move into a bigger shell by going out and getting it (whatever that means, i just made it up)

Make [SMUT] proud
P.S. By going out i dont mean waste all your money on alcohol or drugs, especially if your not into that. hanging out with your friends and doing fun stuff is just as cool.

i haven't partied in 5 days.. I'm basically going to go crazy tonight..

- R w L super SMUT

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Hey fellow SMUT members how are things. The internet is finally working here. I am happy to tell everyone that i have not let up on my drinking at school, i am still the raving alcoholic you know and love, I have however cut back on the herbal intake (if you know what i mean).

Modest Mouse on Weds Darin. --sweet--

Eckert got caught.

I almost died of laughter. We all knew that was coming.


Oh, wait...


I work at Carvel. This is what I do. I am an ice cream salesman. I push for Mr. Carvel. I am pathetic. Life sucks. I don't like people and people don't like me (guess I'm just an annoyance to some)....meh whattayagonnado....

Smut dinner on Saturday...any smut who is free should join.

PS - I can't wait for college.

-Suicide Smutter

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

I turned down free weed for the first time in my life!

In fact I am not smoking or drinking on weeknights anymore because i have to get my GPA up. And not for just that reason. It's not healthy mentally and physically. Plus if i only smoke and/or drink on the weekend i won't have as much of a tolerance, so i'm really looking forward to getting fukked up this weekend and every weekend!

What's this!? an official SMUT gathering without the leadership of Bob.. guys make it happen!!!

Have a SMUTTY day!

- R w L super SMUT

Yo if all goes down its going to be [SMUT]astrophe... Rock the Vote ppl...Smutty Dinner!!!

I think Reza has a good idea im down for a smutty dinner

if you're looking for sanity, i think you've come to the wrong people

I'm thinking we should do more SMUT get togethers even when Bob isn't here. Perhaps dinner this weekend?

Anyone? I need to be around same sanity. Which makes me wonder why I want to be around SMUT lol.

Nah, you guys are better than most.

-Suicide Smutter

Monday, January 26, 2004

well with me being the only one in this blog who is still in high school, i can't be one to judge. oh, wait.

I second the agreement made between Darin and the blog previous to his, also it must be know that Antonio surely would agree as well. Bob you are truly a man of great wisdom. And is there anything going on SuperBowl Sunday?

i agree my good man, i agree indeed

Sunday, January 25, 2004

i love college. i want to point something out. high school is bullshit. i will say it again. high school is bullshit. if you bring the same shitty ass selfish i'm cooler than you drama attitudes that most of you jagoffs bring to my parties to college i assure you that you will not get anywhere and will not have a good time. in fact. i am sick of most people's shitty ass selfish i'm cooler than you drama attitudes that i've got back down home. clean up your fucking acts or smut is going to change it's face.. i'm really getting fucking sick of the stupid bullshit that doesn't even matter down there to the point where i'm just going to be like you know what parties down there are just bullshit and i'm just going to get a bong and chill the fuck out with my college buddies who know what the fuck the world today is about.

i know who i am and what i can do.. i haven't given up.. i just gave up on you..

applies for a lot of people and if you think it applies to you it probably does.

get your heads out of your asses.. drive up to albany.. and have the time of your life..

and for you fuckers who cry all the time up here because your boyfriend is home.. hit the bong.. and shut the fuck up! OR GO HOME where you'd rather be!

- R w L super SMUT

The following is the guy code. Bob, I think we should make these requirements for being in SMUT...

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.

2. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.

3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.

4. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".

5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)

6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

8. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.

9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.

10. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.

11. Do not torpedo single friends.

12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

13. Before dating a buddy's ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say, "man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls"

14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.

15. If a mans zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything!

16. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)

17. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.

18. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal's boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.

19. Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.

20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.

22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or ass peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.

23. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. This includes men who aren't wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good ass wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy.

24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.

25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.

26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.

27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.

28. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.

29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.

30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?"

31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean.

32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.

33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.

34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.

35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your states crime of passion laws be your guide.

36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either.

37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "fuck off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.

38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.

39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.

40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year

41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)

42. When coming to a room which you know is occupied by your friend and possibly another girl, you must knock and wait for an adequate response. If no response occurs, and the door is locked, a 10 minute period is required before knocking again.

43. The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks a 8 or above on the 1-10 scale. (exception: a girl may rank from 5-7, as long as there is oral sex involved).

44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.

45. No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Figure skating
Men's gymnastics
Any sport involving women (unless viewed for sexual purposes)

46. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.

47. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.

48. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.

49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.

50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
when a heroic dog dies to save his master.
after being struck in the testicles with anything moving fast than 7 mph.
When your date is using her teeth.
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.

51. If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.

52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)

53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.

54. A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.

55. No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.

56. No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)

57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.

58. There are is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)

59. Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DON’T wear whitey tighty's. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.

60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.

61. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night.

62. Under no circumstances may two non-related men share a bed or anything which can be perceived as a mattress.

63. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.

64. If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it.

65. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.

66. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.

67. If your friend says "Lick my nuts" as a way to put you down, don't try to be funny by saying "OK" and moving your head towards his crotch, two homosexual references in a row are just plain scary...

68. If you say ouch, you are a pussy!

69. It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls)

* with every set of laws, there are appropriate punishments. If any man shall happen to break any one of these codes, he will be found guilty, and will, for 24 hours from the time of the violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way, and he shall bear the name Princess.





- R w L super SMUT

Saturday, January 24, 2004

Im Antonio i am soo suave Mwah Mwah..Would u like a rose froma my teetha

And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
cause I'm bad for you

I'm in Albany.. it's the weekend.. i can stop with a snap of my fingers.. blow me!!

- R w L super SMUT

watch them run, watch them fall, watch them try 2 catch a ball...........olympics, at the special olmypics.
watch them laugh, watch them drool, watch them fall into the pool- thats diving-at them special olympics.
and i know, full well, that i will buuurn in hell-but those guyz playin wheel chair basketball has got 2 b one of the funniest freakin things i have ever seen in mai the special olympics.

kid with downs wins the race, even though he stood in place, the special olympics. 'round his neck, gold medals hung, resting on his giant tounge-olympics, at the special olympics.
but i kid when i sing, cuz these games r a beautiful thing- ok i am really just avoiding karma, cuz i know mai kids will b born crippled and blind and until i am retired i will have 2 spend all of mai time......................
at the special olympics..............."i feel, i feel so guilty about this.", "and as u should!"


REA 19: u want a pic of jenas ass
DuMbKiD1136: no
REA 19: lol u sure how about her boobs?
DuMbKiD1136: no
REA 19: o man i was told 2 make sure u get them
DuMbKiD1136: ok
DuMbKiD1136: w/e
REA 19: jk jk
DuMbKiD1136: better be
REA 19: lol y i heard u wanted to mack it wit her
DuMbKiD1136: by "mack it" you mean hit her with a mack truck right?
REA 19: lmfao

Silly ass tenth graders

Friday, January 23, 2004

what up playas

I just realized tonight as i went over to suffern high school that almost every person over there is arrogant. Along with this, thier parents still seem to be stuck in the 80's with thier names i.e. tate, lance, and some other name that is really 80's and real gay, something like boomer (which is a cool name for a dog but not a person). I seriously wish that for one day some suffern people would just come to our school and see what hardcore ghetto is like, what its like to actually have to be somewhat humble or else some black/spanish person will get in your face/kick your ass. GOD I HATE SUFFERN. GO TZ, GO NR, GO CLARKSTOWN... BEAT SUFFERN

Going back to school on Sunday, Now the fun will begin. Just a quick that I will continue to smoke, drink and eat bowel exploding foods until i see enough evidence to not do so again, I guess you can call me --GluttonSMUT--

==A-Team for life==

I just realized that there are only like 3 or 4 people in NR I have absolutely no problem with.


PS - I'm not resting until I inflict serious pain on Adam Grant.

-Suicide Smutter.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Smoking, drinking, partying, zoning out, raving, gambling, eating, working out, studying, going to class, showering, dressing, talking, yelling, screaming, being smutty.... that's what it's about... that's what i've been up to.. peace!

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Ate dinner with the BiG SMUT at around 5pm.. Chartwells food is worser than ever. After i smoked up eric and derek at club 21 with the magical bong everyone got me for X mas. Then me and the guys played Texas Holdem.. a modified version of poker.. we were practicing for a tournament that was being held up in the penthouse.. when it was about time for the tournament we went up and there was chips, soda, and free pizza! We all had the munchies so we ate all the food. Then it was our turn to play at the table.. after 16 hands.. i come out with the most $$ in chips.. therefore i win the tournament. The RA's prize was a t shirt and $15 in podium.. not bad..

Went back down to 21 and madd ppl came in to play power hour. i didn't want to drink bc i had class the next morning.. but eric couldn't finish his beer so i drunk 3 beers in one hour... decent buzz.. at around 1 am Angelo comes back from a weed run.. smoked 2 bowls and beautiful dutch rolled by eric.. the guys and girls zone out to winamp5 visualizations in james' room.. i leave at 230am.. went back to the room and ate food while watching True Lies.. awesome movie.

Today.. woke up at 1130 am.. went to MyUAlbany to get my class schedule.. and the server is down... i'm supposed to be in class right now.. but i don't know what room.. i don't know if i should blame myself for not printing out my schedule.. or blame UAlbany's shitty web based system. i didn't get enough sleep last night.. i'm frustrated.. i hate missing class.. especially the FIRST day..

Have a SMUTTY day..

- R w L super SMUT

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

i promised to keep all you SMUTS and SLUTS posted while up hurr in Albany.. so here...

yesterday got back up around 2.. it took about two and a half hours to unpack and put everything back in place.. the BiG SMUT arrived here at about 5:30.. he suggested that we eat at Pizza Smut after he unpacks.. in the meantime Kate invited me over.. put the bottle of rum (thanks Rez) in my bookbag and proceeded to the 9th floor. Had a few shots on an empty stomach... got pretty buzzed.. gave kevin a call he said..

"I'm at club 21.. we're just going to order pizza!"

:/ but i wanted pizza smut. me and kate took the tunnels to burger king.. somehow we got lost in the tunnels.. i swear to god we're dumb and dumber.. ate bk and got lost on the way back too! went back to the 9th floor and drunk some more rum while watching big fat abnoxious fiance.. then headed up to club 21! Drunk some more rum mixed with orange soda.. and most of the guys came back from a beer run. Went back to my room to get cups and ping pong balls for beer pong. In my room i fucking had my open bookbag sitting on my chair and the bottle of rum falls and shatters on the floor! i was so upset. cleaned it up and brought up a 22 of high grav. went back up to club 21 and me and kate were a team against eric and josh in beer pong.. we lost the game.. but i drunk a lot of beer so i really didn't lose.. the 22 of high grav went fast so i ran back down to my room to get my last 22 and then ran back up.

Played another game of beer pong with Angelo being my partner against two other guys whos name i don't know.. we win... i drink more.. i try to do magic tricks with a deck of cards but it didn't work out.. where's chris when you need a magician?! bring the 22 to derek's room.. where we are all doing karaoke.. so much fun.. i love singing..!

Ok.. now people who know me know that i NEVER get piss drunk to the point where i can't walk.. mostly because i throw parties and i have to keep the party and myself under control.. but since i'm the guest of the party.. i drink like a monster.. i haven't been that drunk in months

2am.. eric wants to sleep so he kicks everyone out of his room.. me and kate go back to her room.. we layed down and i just kept drunken rambling blah blah blah.. i'm sorry you had to put up with it! i passed out cold at like 230am.. woke up at 530am still drunk and dizzy as hell.. run to the bathroom and puke.. lay next to kate and pass out again.. wake up at about 1 pm and feel like shit.. kate's suitemate's parents are in the suite area.. i wanted to go out there in my boxers and be like ughhh i'm so hungover..

130pm kate walked me out (walk of shame) and i went back to my room.. kev was sleeping as usual and zach was listening to skinhead music. zach blew a horn which woke up kevin and most of UAlbany.. and now here i am.. i need to shit shower and shave my balls.. keep you guys posted.. peace!!!

- R w L super SMUT

Hi everyone this is your neighborhood friendly SmUckRaKeR. What you are about to read will probably make absolutely no sense to you. I find it hilarious. Please, if you attempt to read which i suggest you do, you MUST go ALL the way down to Bryans last post and read up. It's quite a tale so make sure u have some time. Think hard and see if u can figure ANYTHING out.

Also, I would like to explain one blog i have already recieved questions on. In one blog I have used ???????'s. These are used to remove key names and vital information so that Reza is saved from a reaming of words.

Enjoy at your own risk.


SmUckRaKeR (12:58:36 AM): all the more funny for us
RezTrek6 (12:58:49 AM): muyahhahahaha
SmUckRaKeR (12:58:52 AM): lololol
SmUckRaKeR (12:58:53 AM): i love it
RezTrek6 (12:58:55 AM): i love it
RezTrek6 (12:58:56 AM): hahah
SmUckRaKeR (12:58:59 AM): LOLOLOL
SmUckRaKeR (12:59:07 AM): im seriously laughing out loud right now

SmUckRaKeR (12:58:36 AM): all the more funny for us
RezTrek6 (12:58:49 AM): muyahhahahaha
SmUckRaKeR (12:58:52 AM): lololol
SmUckRaKeR (12:58:53 AM): i love it
RezTrek6 (12:58:55 AM): i love it
RezTrek6 (12:58:56 AM): hahah
SmUckRaKeR (12:58:59 AM): LOLOLOL
SmUckRaKeR (12:59:07 AM): im seriously laughing out loud right now

RezTrek6 (12:59:43 AM): we're like the retarded kids that laugh at ourselves because we are the only ones who find it funny

This is fucking hilarious!!!

I would just like to add that all that wasnt scripted, just happened that way and we both went on blogging w/o the other knowing til they read it. I said the fun thing and putting it all together thing just bc i realized towards the end that would happen. Basically im just making sure every1 knows that that was all improv. NIGht all


Yes, you never's just that you suck at life...but hey, it's all good.

SmUckRaKeR [12:42 AM]: oh man im having loads of fun right now
RezTrek6 [12:42 AM]: worrd
SmUckRaKeR [12:43 AM]: people are going to be reading for hours tomm. trying to piece this together
SmUckRaKeR [12:43 AM]: lol
RezTrek6 [12:43 AM]: lol muhahahaha

Get to work people...this is the puzzle of the day.

RezTrek6 (12:43:58 AM): lol muhahahaha
RezTrek6 (12:44:58 AM): done
SmUckRaKeR (12:45:27 AM): oh you set yourself up for a huge fall
RezTrek6 (12:45:43 AM): wait if it involves ??? dont do it
RezTrek6 (12:45:45 AM): seriously
SmUckRaKeR (12:45:51 AM): u MORON
RezTrek6 (12:45:52 AM): yea dont
RezTrek6 (12:45:54 AM): moron wait
RezTrek6 (12:45:56 AM): there's a reason
SmUckRaKeR (12:45:59 AM): lol
RezTrek6 (12:46:04 AM): an hour ago ??????????????????????????????????????
SmUckRaKeR (12:46:07 AM): do u honestly think u can reason with me?
RezTrek6 (12:46:14 AM): i'm serious don't do it
RezTrek6 (12:46:20 AM): because then ?????????????????????????
RezTrek6 (12:46:22 AM): about what it was
RezTrek6 (12:46:34 AM): seriously do me one favor and don't go that route
SmUckRaKeR (12:46:36 AM): ok ok ill let you go easy
SmUckRaKeR (12:46:58 AM): but not w/o one last post




Hey now, whatever floats your boat...if gay sex does it for me then what does it for you? Wait, wait...what's that? Ohhh yes...pedophilia. As for the hair...All I have to say is that I'm a good 5 degrees warmer than everyone else this winter season.

RezTrek6 [12:37 AM]: are you responding?
SmUckRaKeR [12:38 AM]: yes
SmUckRaKeR [12:38 AM]: and your should see it comgin already
SmUckRaKeR [12:38 AM]: if your smart
RezTrek6 [12:38 AM]: you're you mean
SmUckRaKeR [12:38 AM]: huh?
RezTrek6 [12:39 AM]: oye vey
SmUckRaKeR [12:39 AM]: oh no its not that
RezTrek6 [12:39 AM]: no you bafoon
RezTrek6 [12:39 AM]: you said "your" should have said "you're"
SmUckRaKeR [12:39 AM]: oh
SmUckRaKeR [12:39 AM]: lol
RezTrek6 [12:39 AM]: lol

SmUckRaKeR (12:30:37 AM): LOL
SmUckRaKeR (12:30:40 AM): im gonna edit mien
SmUckRaKeR (12:30:44 AM): then no one will know!!!
AJKiLLeGiTi SMUT (12:31:18 AM): then you post me saying that as your next blog!!!
AJKiLLeGiTi SMUT (12:31:20 AM): itll be funny!
RezTrek6 (12:31:23 AM): lol ok
AJKiLLeGiTi SMUT (12:31:26 AM): lololol
AJKiLLeGiTi SMUT (12:32:44 AM): ok its ready
AJKiLLeGiTi SMUT (12:33:45 AM): this is fucking hilarious
RezTrek6 (12:34:58 AM): done

Also, i heard a rumor from a legitimit source(rezas gay partner) that reza has bushels of hair growing from his actual penis. Which the man says would usually make him turn and run but he learned that first drunk night that the hair actually tickles him in such a way to obtain anal orgasms. Weird huh?


RezTrek6 [12:28 AM]: done?
SmUckRaKeR [12:29 AM]: patience
RezTrek6 [12:29 AM]: i saw
SmUckRaKeR [12:29 AM]: ok its ready
SmUckRaKeR [12:29 AM]: lol
RezTrek6 [12:30 AM]: and i posted
RezTrek6 [12:30 AM]: you piece of shit
SmUckRaKeR [12:30 AM]: LOL
SmUckRaKeR [12:30 AM]: im gonna edit mien
SmUckRaKeR [12:30 AM]: then no one will know!!!!
RezTrek6 [12:30 AM]: no you dumb bitch
RezTrek6 [12:30 AM]: that's foul
RezTrek6 [12:30 AM]: don't you crap sucking donkey whore

(Andrew's last post originally said "your" instead of "you're").

Muahahahah...this can go on forever.


-Suicide Smutter

TOUSHEY YOU BASTARD, TOUSHEY-- oh but the upper hand is soo sweet...

RezTrek6 (12:10:50 AM): allow me to make a prediction...karen is going to say to you that this proves i act better than others
RezTrek6 (12:10:55 AM): when she says that tell her i said she would
SmUckRaKeR (12:11:17 AM): .lolololol
SmUckRaKeR (12:11:19 AM): ok i will
SmUckRaKeR (12:11:23 AM): and itll be funny as all hell
RezTrek6 (12:11:30 AM): yes it will
RezTrek6 (12:11:44 AM): if she does
RezTrek6 (12:11:48 AM): lets tell her it was planned
SmUckRaKeR (12:16:04 AM): ok

You're a mean one, Mr. Reza. You know karen won't like that shit.



touché, you say?

SmUckRaKeR [12:00 AM]: oh shit theres a new blog on the smut site
SmUckRaKeR [12:00 AM]: check it out while i go get a snack
RezTrek6 [12:00 AM]: k
SmUckRaKeR is away at 12:00 AM
SmUckRaKeR [12:05 AM]: like?
SmUckRaKeR returned at 12:05 AM
RezTrek6 [12:05 AM]: o i like it enough to answer
RezTrek6 [12:05 AM]: which i did
SmUckRaKeR [12:06 AM]: toushey
SmUckRaKeR [12:06 AM]: and dont even
SmUckRaKeR [12:06 AM]: respeel that
RezTrek6 [12:06 AM]: hahaha
SmUckRaKeR [12:06 AM]: u asshole
RezTrek6 [12:06 AM]: i was about to
RezTrek6 [12:06 AM]: lol
SmUckRaKeR [12:06 AM]: actually
SmUckRaKeR [12:07 AM]: do it
RezTrek6 [12:07 AM]: touché
SmUckRaKeR [12:07 AM]: how u make that e nigga?
RezTrek6 [12:07 AM]: character map
SmUckRaKeR [12:07 AM]: ...?
RezTrek6 [12:07 AM]: windows, programs, accec., system tools, character map
SmUckRaKeR [12:08 AM]: fuck that ill skip on the accent

As for Kyra, since she is a stripper who is probably feasting on a knob right now...go for it. I, however, will not retaliate on you (I don't have the time to go to Thiells Elementary School) revoir ;)

PS - Andrew and I find this amusing; we aren't really "angry"...just fyi because I know someone will ask.

Touche ol' chap, touche....
I will now stop the ensuing flame through facts that i will not again speak of after this blog.
1. Mandy is still on my hit list, it's all planned out. That bitch is gonna be crying when I'm done with her.

And 2. I have decided i will go to stillettos with you reza, good news??? Ohhh I think not... U said you have a month to a month and a half before your return to the strip club, MUCH more than enough time for me to save up the $200 for the UBER SPECIAL V.V.I.P. room. I will be calling in before i go, and I will make sure Krya's there and in a great mood. It'll be bad enough u thinking about me with her for the 30 minutes, but then when i come out ill make sure i throw the B.J. condom down on the table in front of you, or better yet i could use that in my plan for mandy somehow.... Hmmmm, good idea Andrew.

BTW Bryan, Nice quote bio-dome is one of my fav movies ever, I have it too. I think it would be an awesome one for a [SMUT] viewing we should figure that out sometime.
Toodles Reza ;)


There is a difference between bad grammar online (i.e., omitting apostrophes and camas) and your form of bad grammar, which consists of saying "your" instead of "you're", saying "their" instead of "there" or "they're", as well as other mistakes.

The only reason I started nitpicking your grammar was because you nitpicked me (I said except instead of accept once) and you were like, "Muahahah that's 1-0 me"....20 minutes later it was 1-20 me.

As they say in the movies....Boo Ya.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Reza, you are a jizz bobble cock sucking piece of shit. I'm tired of typing on aim in a rush and then stopping to understand your comment about my grammar twat juice. ITS FROM A FUCKING MOVIE--- UNTUCK YOUR PENIS FROM BETWEEN THOSE JUICY THIGHS OF YOURS AND STOP CARING ABOUT ONLINE GRAMMAR YOU POLE SMOKING SON OF A SWEATY SACK!!!!

To correct my comrade's spanish, it would be "Vivan" not "Viva" since Los Bio Dome is plural.

-Suicide Smutter

Jesus Fucking Christ, you guys went crazy last night. I didn't know that you guys could debate so adamantly on a movie about two stoners that get locked in a dome. I'm sorry I started the "blog fight". As Doug would say, "It's the fight of the century!" (Doug's drunken mumblings throughout the Freddy Vs. Jason movie).

Fucking International Business final tomorrow. Somebody throw away the test. PLEASE!

P.S. We all have to jump Ms. Bassani someday. It'll be fun.

How are you all? I have not recorded any text in this box for many a day, so I shall sit at this computer of mine until the words being created in my brain are processed by my tounge, through my fingers and written for all to see. First, I would like to start by saying that it is wretched not being able to go to strip clubs for the simple reason that I was born a couple months too late, because I missed my opportunity to view a Ms. Brianna Banks. I also missed her sit on my comrade Reza's lap and give him a kiss. Secondly, I agree with Darin's assessment about the festivities, or lack there of, in the North Rockland area. It is just plain dispicable of us as Smut members to occupy the Smut house every weekend night. We must rise up against the powers that are supressing our teenage hormones and we must do what teenagers do, not what children do (ie. listen to our parents). We must start a revolution. Today, one may ask, "what is there to do in North Rockland" and the usual answer is, "Abso-fucking-lutely nothing". This must all change. The next time someone asks you, "what are you doing tonight?" it is necessary that the answer is "having fun at......'s house!"

We must start a revolution! Viva Los Bio Dome

Well said Darin, Modest is coming. I will leave with these words of wisdom "drink and be merry for tomorrow we'll die" (DMB)



yes everyone, reza kissed a girl who tossed some guy's salad, has performed ass to mouth, sucked numerous amounts of wangs, and has taken a many money shots... CONGRATS REZA

Sorry about that reza, sorta shouted you out, you can make fun of me later...

It is sad to say that three avid [SMUT] members (bob, kev, and jay) have left to their colleges, a sad day indeed. But my friends, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. With their absence, i say we take heed, start drinking and smoking on our OWN accord, as in we go out to find parties, so when the preceeding three return, we can say that yes, we know where theres a party, yes you guys can come, no bob, you dont need to have people over. We owe this to them.
Along with making life easier for them we must come to a realization: THIS IS OUR FUCKING SENIOR YEAR. We must go out and visit bob and kev, we must convince our parents that this is our last year here, that we are almost (if not already) 18 years old and we can stay out later than 11. We must drink and smoke to our hearts CONTENT. No regrets fellas, lets make this last year something we can remember forever (or, depending on what you do, DONT REMEMBER).

Think about what i wrote my [SMUT]TY ones, and think long...

Stimpith J.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Hello, Smutty ones...

So allow me to tell you how I came thisclose to Briana Banks's pussy and how I grabbed her tits and how I kissed her on the lips (rather, how she kissed me on the lips).

Ok, so Briana Banks, internationally reknowned porn star, was at stiletto's this weekend. I went on Friday. I tried to convince people to go, but in the end, Xavier was the only one who wanted to. Luckily, just as we were passing Austin's house X got a call from him and he wanted to go to. So we all go. We get there at 12:45ish...Briana is schedualed to go on stage at 2 AM...the place is packed...i get a seat on the edge of the stage (one of the few seats) and I don't budge for the next two hours until she finally comes on at 3 AM (although just befoer she went on 6 strippers were doing lesbian acts on stage...that wasn't too bad either). Ok so she gets on stage and is getting ready to start...she glances at my direction and I lip to her, "I love you." She smiled...started her dance...about ten minutes into her dance she started coming up to the people with seats...I was one of them (there was a gillion people standing behind me) she comes up to me...moves my hands off the little table thingy seperating the stage and the seats...and sits there...spreads her legs...grabs my hair...and moves my head back and forth thisclose fom her vagina. Amazing...after that she kisses me on the lips (I was the first she kissed but she did make out with a girl in the audience)...After that, I raised both my hands into the air and everyone there was like "ahhhhhhh" and I got high fives all over the place....I also have a picture of Briana sitting on my lap, legs spread, with my hands on her tits. Bob will be putting that on the smut site.

Sick Pleasure of the Day: Enjoying that weird "pain" type of feeling you get when you hold a shit in. Admit it you sick pieces of shit.

Saturday, January 17, 2004

When I left for Albany in September.. i missed home.. after not too long i found a new home.. I loved being in Albany.. even though my luck up there wasn't always good.. i really did have the time of my life up there... i saw things that you could only see on TV.. i experienced things that most people don't experience...

I came back home to Rockland and i missed Albany.. some of my friends all of a sudden felt like strangers to me.. over time i strengthened relationships with all of my friends and made new ones.. i had a fucking blast down here and home really feels like home again.. things are really getting fun here, but now i have to leave again...

I'm going to miss you all.. but as our Arnold says.. "I'll be back!"

hello hello hello my good friends, its 12:36 am on jan 17 and i am PRETTY DRUNK
Its was crazy finally meeting mister streva (spelling) and giving up my alias as the loyal reader, chillin with the og's and the [SMUTs] even though i was the only one drunk. i swear i think i havbe the worst timing. i drink when no one else is and make a fool of myself. and im sober when everyone else is wasted. Bigah... i dont care. xavier scored some major awsome points with driving, gettin the brew, pickin up jesus, the coolest person in the world, and so on. i know there was no point to this blog, but if you think about it, is there ever a point? we are always so bored or so wasted that we actually spend time reading these things ( at least i do :( ) oh well im mad hungry, im going to eat. good bye my friends
stimpith j.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Highlight of the day: passed around two bowls and a bag of chips simultaneously at pat's house.. and watched The eXtreme Elimination Challenge.. funny as all hell..

Just found my sword.. training with it right now at 2:43 am...

Elrond: Anduril, flame of the west, forged from the shards of narsil. The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walk this earth.
Aragorn: Sauron will not have forgotten this sword...
Elrond: Put aside the ranger. Become who you were born to be. I give hope to men.
Aragorn: I keep none for myself.

SMUTTY weekend coming up.. see you all soon!

Thursday, January 15, 2004


Happy Birthday Andrew...

Now, you can, you can, wait, that too...

Everything you do is illegal even if you're 65 lol

-Suicide Smutter

Hope you get Briana Banks to come back to your house then you make sweet love to her and get married then you bring back pornstars for all of [SMUT]....(That would be awesome)... and bring me back Krystal Steal and Sky Lopez! But seriously have a great Birthday and enjoy the day to the fullest. Oh and fix the hubcap.


woke up at 1pm.. workout, shower, shave, get dressed. drew drives to school to pick up casey and jena. feel better soon jena! go to mcdumpster and bring back to house. 4:30pm we drive to nrhs for swim meet.. on the drive there we end up behind nick and adam. pull onto wrong side of road to catch up with nick with oncoming traffic. fun. at red light adam comes out of car and screams and bangs on window. people in surrounding cars are confused. race in parking lot. drew's hub cap flys off.. it could have killed someone.. good times.

a lot of ppl at swim meet. opposing team is full of yatta dancers. pointed out a MILF to the guys. played see lo. won $5. up $55 now in see lo. cheered on SMUTTY swimmers with signs kate made. on the way out me nick and adam scream in the parking lot for no reason. we love disturbing the public.

PLANET WINGS PLANET WINGS. eat nuclear wings at planet wings. good stuff.

930 pm drive lauren and jac to kfc to deliver cake they baked for andrew. they get into a bitch fight in the car slapping each other hard in the face. i caught a semi ;p;

now i'm just chillin to some music..

Its crazy, I'm thinking just as long as you're around.
In here I'll be dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down?
To each other, we'll be facing.
My love, my love, we'll beat back the pain we've found..

that's pretty much it. i'm here until sunday morning. i have to see all of you b4 i leave. Have a smutty day because i know i will !

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Ok Karen's Bazooka Joe thing is annoying me. I have one thing to say to Mr. B. Joe....


(since I'm me that boom implies explosives).

Die. Now.

-Suicide Smutter if the genes of your parents make up your characteristics....assuming strippers are dumb....if I were to have a child with a stripper...would our child be a monkey?

(that was a hairy middle eastern terrorist joke).

-Suicide Smutter

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend," can I take look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha ha,
I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there
with her ....... he's naked as well! The bitch!"
He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbour, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a dickhead, so just shoot his cock off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a thousand dollars here....."

I smoke too much, i drink to much, too much of everything. Last night was fun with the boys, i love bongs their my friend. Kevin was right about Toxic Hell (taco bell) i shit my brains out 7:30 this morning, never again. Bob and kev are going back to school we need to throw a big bash for them and for myself as well. I need a Rock, Guster rules

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Woke up at 1pm for a 230pm dentist appointment.

Got 1 needle for a filling. Dentist randomly asks if i wrestle. No i workout.

330pm Katie comes over to play FFX2 and show dance video. Very fun. Good time.

7pm jay drives over. we drive to Santos' Pizza and Deli meet with reza. reza drives like maniac and tries to convince me to go to stilettos. i have no money. Need $$ for:

SMUT dinner is Friday + Briana Banks.

Drops me off back at Santos' Pizza and Deli to meet with kevin who drove to romantic depot. $10 entrance fee thurr. Had to find something for $10. DVDs were $50. Not spending 50 on a DVD when i could just download it. Ended up buying condoms and flavored lube.. can't wait to try them out. ;)

Go to mall. Best Buy. Reza meets me and Kev there. Reza insists i go to Stilettos. Reza starts offering me things to go there. We concluded that he owes me 1 bottle of hard liquor and two boxes of condoms .. off to stilettos we went!

Me and Rez chill at Stilettos. Nikki was not there :( Krya was thurr.. she didn't even dance for reza at the table.. she went up to us and talked about how she just turned 21 and bought a corona that she didn't even drink. nice. i end up only spending $15 in stilettos. and i got my fingers stuck in between a stippers BREASTS (darin)

Reza drives home at 120 miles per hour. FUN! He also agrees that tomorrow at the swim meet i get to drive his blue 2003 MERCEDEZ BENZ KOMPRESSOR alone to mcdumpster drive thru! yay can't wait to pimp mandy out. Pull into my driveway.. the BiG SMUT and Jay Money are waiting to blaze!

We get a bong and chill out to music.. tomorrow is going to be a smutty day.. !


yo darin comin atcha from the computer lab at nr. me and kevin (the not-so-puerto-rican puerto rican) are working on our final module paper. I would like to mention the [smut] members and og members and other people who came to the meet yesterday, thanks for doing so. also, did anyone see that girl crying? i think it was my fault, cause i beat her like hardcore in the back... bigah, sore loser. the next meet is wednesday against kieo academy, its senior recognition day, and we want to go out by destroying those heartless people (actually, they are very intelligent and smart, but they are probably conjuring ways to take over the planet). So eveyone please come and stop the movement.

for some reason, when i thought of the kieo kids taking over the planet, it reminded me of that coheed song. "Apollo, what should i do next..."

Monday, January 12, 2004

Someone in the Key Club signed me up to sell pizza tomorrow in the annex! I got a call from some girl in the key club saying that "Robert Lorentz" signed up for that shit.. I told her that i don't even go to high school anymore.. but i'll still do it.. so come visit me after 8th period if you can. Whoever signed me up gets a free slice.


Last night I got a bong with the "A Team" of SMUT... Kev, iLL WiLL from the hill.. and Mike V... good times.. talked about past memories... good fucking times. After went to Wendy's and brought it back home and ate it plus a lot of other food.. I overate and didn't feel good after.. went to bed early.. 3am

Woke early.. 1:30 pm.. worked out.. showered.. got dressed.. Katie invited me to go watch a couple SMUTTERS swim.. Got there and Kev, Adam, Adam, Nick, Reza, and John were already there! Immediately played see lo and won $10 overall.. pretty good. Had a good time.. plan to go back Wednesday.. Katie drove me home too.. she told me about her ideal boyfriend.. Katie your standards are very high.. but you'll find him!

After that i drove to the Wong residence (Justine stop stalking me) to "help" Lauren babysit.. I ate spaghetti, cookie cake, nacho cheese doritos, and ice pops.. watched TV.. 500 channels and there's nothing on so i passed out on the couch for an hour and a half.. woke up and left..

Here i am now aggrivated that i have a dentist appointment tomorrow ! I had madd shit planned. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

I'll make Chris do it...

Today was great, Two-Hour delay, shortened periods, does it get any better of course it does just not during high school. Oh and at lunch I was made "tray bitch" and disappointed with this tasks me and some fellow lunchmates came up with a plan... I was to take up the four trays, trip and fall face first on the floor dropping all the trays across the floor and running out with my hands over my face (I owe that to Chris)... Not that things of this sort haven't been done before but I thought it to be a good idea at the time. Anyways as I was going up I really wasn't thinking about doing it until I heard someone say "He isn't going to do it." That was enough of a motive for me I juggled the trays hit the back of my heel with the front of my other foot and went face first to the floor... The landing....IMPECCABLE... and i proceeded to run out of the lunchroomwith my hands over my face.

But it didnt stop there thinking clearly i took off my blue striped buttoned down shirt balled it up in my hand and made a break for it. I made the turn around the corner and literally bumped into a security guard on the walkie-talkie saying "Blue striped shirt you say?" By then I was hysterical laughing and a lil scared that they were actually looking for me. To clear my mind i went to the swim meet after school to watch Brian Doug Darin and MarK. They had to swim against this girly team literally.... girls!! What girls stand a chance against some of the strongest [SMUT]s around?!?!? None except maybe China from wrestling she's mad butch. But even she probably couldnt swim better than them but if she lost she would get mighty pissed and wreak havoc on the Swimming[SMUT]ters. Then they would jump in the water and taunt her cuz she would never be able to catch them! Especially since she would be in such awe if watching them do the butterfly stroke or watching Jesus dive. Well I gotta get to start some homework... AND ONE MORE THING IM NOT TRAY BITCH TOMORROW!!!

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Last until the "Columbian ski team" came along with a bunch of other people who enjoy sound in the higher decibel range. Rest assured smutters, Bob said it will be the last time that happens.

-Suicide Smutter.

Hey, its Adam Grant. It took me long enough to get a damn username, not to mention one i didn't even want lol. Anyways, Bobert threw another unexpected, yet amazing party to which everyone and their mother came to. One thing that totally sucks is when you dont have any money to drink and everyone has a beer in their hand and is having a good time... does this mean i rely on drugs and alcohol to much to have a good time (I hope not). Chris tried to prostitute his room in order to make profit off of overly-horny teenagers, NOT A BAD IDEA!! And another thing about not having money it makes it really hard to gamble...but thanks to some generous people i was able to get in on the action and got up pretty high. However i always give into Reza when I've taken him for alot of his money and he still wants to go... then i end up losing way too much and supporting not only his gambling addiction but his Stillettos addiction as well (your welcome Reza....enjoy). I cant wait till next weekend after i save up all my lunch money and can party hard and maybe go on a "trip" via some kind of vegetables. lol JK (or am I). Got school tomorrow and I'm goign to have to chill with my impulsive outbursts or I'm going to be kicked out of Physics by Luft... Oh well, I'll have another lunch period and an easy class. And I would take my remaining time to congradulate Katie and Darin on being accepted to colleges. Later all you smutty people...

I would just like to comment on the party last night...
For a bunch of people that used to look down at [SMUT], think that were not funny, or think that we are losers for whatever reason, you sure didnt seem to have a problem drinking/spilling alcohol, smoking in the garage, doing lines in the bathroom, or screaming at the top of your lungs especially when his father said to keep it down. Fuck everyone


So the other night i drank a good amount of Parrot Bay and i ended up falling asleep on the couch ... and then i woke up to people laughing and hearing spraying noises and something hitting my face..It was shaving cream all over me everywhere..then i found out they stuck a penny to that and a cracker and powered sugar was thrown all over me and i got up everyone laughing and i had to jump into the shower..It was pretty funny i didnt get mad cause i figured i would have done the same thing to someone else so who cares its all fun n then i went upstairs to sleep and i didnt sleep too well but eh i dont care woke up around 9 drove home and did nothing in between then and now but i am done for now peace out


hello peoples.. well i see this blog is starting to get a little bit dry, so i'm going to lick my fingers and smear my mouth's contents on it.. as i was saying before; i'm not going to reveal anything i don't feel i need to, so i will talk about things i don't mind sharing... yesterday was another unexpected party, which every member of smut likes to drag themself into. i'm starting to become concerned with the drug problem here in this area.. cocaine, shrooms, marijuana, and alcohol in one night? how is that any good for your body? oh well, as long as those i care about don't get pulled into that mess. i remained sober of any malficient products last night. to me, it's not even worth any of the fun... anyways, change of subject: in english we watched the chocolate war on vhs. now, i didn't read the book, but i read the first 40 pages and then the sparknotes. the mood of the book and the movie was that of a hopeless one; although the movie played a lot of strange techno music.. so the whole time I'm watching the movie (which is pretty accurate to the book), i'm thinking it's going to end the same hopeless way the book did, and i would feel very gloomy for the rest of the day.. Instead, at the very end, archie picks out a black marble! and the whole ending scene changes into that of a happy hollywood ending.. i was so giddy, i wanted to tear...

in conclusion.. do drugs if you want, but understand the consequences

- with love, sir shades of the ringzilla smut

Saturday, January 10, 2004

we peed 2gether
-hey its kt blogging on the smut site- bob is currently in available- hence he is on shrooms. lol. Yeah. I'll write all about it on mine later. He wanted to say that above- yes we peed together in the bathroom lol, we didn't look. that's all he wanted to say.
he also keeps yawning.
and he informed me every blog he does is at 9.
i wrote to much. WAY to much. later.

Today was bleh..

Woke up at 12:30.. got a SOBO spk with Claire.. friend from college.. and dropped her off bc i had to hide the computer in the room bc my sis had an uncontrolled ghetto birthday party. The downstairs was turned upside down and i didn't get to do a lot of things i wanted to do tonight.. oh well..

Tomorrow.. or should i say later today when i wake up.. i have a lot of crazy shit planned!!!

Going to Blockbuster.. have a DVD due at noon.. not going to wake up until then..

Jena Bena is madd chill.. all girls should be like her!!

Friday, January 09, 2004

whats good in the hood my nigs and nigets (spelling/actual words?), Mr. Darin bloggin it up and i am actually in a good mood.
Even though i was dead to the world this week and i totally swam like crap tonight, i would like to formally notify the [SMUT] members/readers that i am now done with my college stuff, for i recieved my nomination letter from the congress woman sue kelly. I shall be enrolling for classes this summer.
To all the og's, the [smuts], the hotties, and everyone else i forgot about, thank you for coming to our meet, and for being super awsome fans that rock. bird call my friends, bird call....
For the eyes of grimlore i shall post again (ahah rez)
Stimpith J., aka Midshipman Darin Rupinski

Little brat i'll drop you off on Wall Street.

Deer poop.

Why would i have nipple hair?

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

what up playas, mr d commin atcha

even though the big smut was not at alumni day, it was a pretty cool. ive never seen a person have soo much food on one tray, or eat soo many potato chips as bob did. Yes, if reza does succeed in scoring with this stripper, he should become the leader of team smut. then we can legally fight any person or group and say it was a jihad. thatd be awsome...

until next time, farewell
Stimpith J

P.S. Sandy bowe is amazing. extreme pain will be given to the anyperson that says/thinks differently.

I didn't go to the seawall.. I drove with James and Kev to McD and got free food. Dropped them off. Headed in the direction of the seawall but it got really cloudy.. no stars.. no fun.. drove home. Warmed up popcorn mixed it with buffalo sauce, also had some rolls with butter. I love 3am snacks. Shortly after i layed in bed for about 3 hours. I didn't sleep i just layed there. 6am came. played max payne and drank black tea, ran out of lemon. picked up lauren at 7am and drove to annie's for breakfast. ate scrambled eggs and sausage and COFFEE while telling her general story of how my four years of high school went. fun. drove back home. took shower. lauren picked me out outfit with matching boxers. lauren is sooo chill. all girls should be like lauren. 8:30am smoked my bowl in the garage by myself. thought that going to alumni day high would be fun... it kinda wasn't... it just made me stupid... i'm going to slow it down with pot.

I haven't been THAT stoned in a while. Everything moved all choppy.. like the way things look in a strobe light. Got a little nervous that i wouldn't perform as well in school. <---- lol north rockland high

9am drive to school. Go to Mrs. Bassani's 3rd period class. I get a standing ovation! The students asked us some pretty smutty questions. I couldn't stop laughing most of the time because chris adam and kevin were saying stupid shit. Why does Rodriguez constantly echo Yudman......? It went something like...

Yudman: "Is there a lot of drug use at your school."
Rodriguez: "Yeah.. what about drug use?!"

They asked some pretty smutty questions.. i had to put my head down to laugh most of the time. Went to all the lunch periods. 4th period i play cee lo with Reza. $5 bet. Lose $5. Later in the period $20 bet with Johnny O. Win $20. Up $15! Happy. It was so much fun seeing everybody at lunch and in the hallways. I visit some classes too. Also visit Mr Hardy and Mr Haibon. I also went to Mrs. Bassani's 7th period class. Nick (Dr. Smut) was in that class. That class asked more smutty questions than Bassani's 3rd period class.

Nick: "How much do the drugs influence you in college."

The class laughed.. We also started talking about shrooms.. me and nick looked at each other like we didn't shroom last Saturday night. Drove home with Lauren after 7th. Listened to music and shit while Andrew weighed out his options. At around 4pm me and andrew drive to haverstraw for more mushrooms. I get 2.5 grams for $25. Shrooming with Karen this weekend if she wants to. Reza calls. Wants to go to Stiletos bc he has a date with a stripper named Kyra. We invite Karen and Xavier to go. They chicken out.

About 530 pm me and Reza or should I say John Schwartz from Cornell, walk into Stiletos. $10 water. 545pm a stripper named Nikki takes the stage. I fall in love. I want Nikki. I wait about an hour for Nikki to come out. During that hour another stripper kept bothering me for a lap dance.. Tired of waiting for Nikki... go upstairs with other stripper.. can't remember her name. Lap dance wasn't bad.. she held my face in her chest the whole time and grinded hardcore.

Wait another 15 min for nikki. She comes out from dancing with some dorky guy. I wanted to kill him. nikki takes the stage. i go to the stage. nikki dances in front of me and puts her head down. I told her i've been waiting for her and i want a dance... i finally get my dance... we go upstairs and she mounts herself on top of me and starts dancing.. i start talking to her..

Me: "I waited so long for you. You're the most beautiful girl here."
Nikki: "Thanks that's sweet."
Me: "You look really young how old are you?"
Nikki: "I'm twenty-four."
Me: "You look like you're eighteen."
Nikki: "Yeah i get that a lot."

I could have sworn she was 18, but at that point she was rubbing the cock so good that i didn't care. I got two lap dances in a row from her. It was amazing. After i come back down and Reza ugh i mean John is no where to be found. He comes back with drinks from Dunkin Donuts for his stripper girlfriend. She was pretty hot.. but not as hot as Nikki. Reza gives her his cell phone and she starts kissing him on the cheeks and lips. It's now time to get the fuck outta there. We spent two hours in there and i spent $75 :-/ !!! I'm going to gamble hardcore this weekend and get all my $$ back!!

8pm Reza and I go to Bleacher's. Katie hooks us up with food. Katie is soo chill.. I love Katie.. Andrew joins us for dinner. We talk about smutty things...

Me: "Would you perform cunnilingus on Kyra?"
Reza: "Yes."
Me: "Would you perform anilingus on Kyra?"
Reza: "Yes."
Me: "If she asked you to do coke for kinky hardcore sex..."
Reza: "Yes!"

If any SMUT member has sex with a stripper they are automatically promoted to the Leader of TEAM[SMUT]. Reza dropped me off after dinner. Took a nap from 9pm-1am. and now here i am...

I haven't slept in a long time.. it is that time. good night!!

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

At about 10 pm, I walk upstairs with a Bud Light necklace (thanks Lauren) around my neck...

Mom: "Bud Light! You drink too much Bud Light."

Dad: "Let the boy have fun."

Woke up at 6pm today. Ran and worked out. Showered. Ate breakfast. Dressed. Got a bong with James, Kev, and Mike Bateman. Ate at McD parking lot. Make things out of clouds. Baked some more. Sitting here now listening to music..

Its crazy, I'm thinking just as long as you're around.
In here I'll be dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down?
To each other, we'll be facing.
My love, my love, we'll beat back the pain we've found.
You know, I mean to tell you all the things I've been thinking, deep inside my
With each moment the more I love you. Crush me, come on, baby...

I'm going to mellow out to the clouds and stars by the seawall now.. peaceee

Monday, January 05, 2004

Well I'll be dipped in shit and roolllled in breadcrumbs...

Ok andrew just toldme the funniest story of my life..,..

All I have to say is...Shovel-face. Omg...This story is getting rave reviews at lunch tomorrow.

-Suicide Smutter.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

hoarrrrr... rarr.. who's that?? eh uh eh... ((snort).. now get outta here.. hoa?? you fool, get the fuck out!.. mmmhmmm.. you ready?.. you god damn better believe it.. then take your draws off... and work your legs.. open your ass up like a keg..let me tap it.. i must have it.. mmm furry fool, you are mine! i'll drink your ass like wine.. and when semen pours all over your head.. you know you must be dead.. skeletor i know you groove, and shake it damn so good.. and when you come on through my hood, i'll give you a piece of wood.. you furry fool i know, and i will not disagree.. but there's one thing we don't like.. it starts with he.. man. OH NO.. i don't know which way to run and turn.. don't worry skeletor your pants on fire.. my cock will burn!..

my cock’s on fire.. for more dick! You know, skeletor.. yes my head is so damn thick.. like yours, no brain inside.. just a lot of fucking fur.. and if I ripped it off, you’d find a boy and call him “her”.. right?.. no skeletor, that’s not what I do.. I’d bend you over.. and shoot.. chocolate goo.. in your assshole!! Let me lie.. let me tell the truth… now who are you? I don’t know! Let’s break it too.. Now! Shake your ass, comon beast man.. take your furry fur off.. I can’t it’s made of fur! Bitch, well then, wack me off. Grab your hairy palms.. hairy, hairy indeed.. they’re hairy as fuck .. rake some leaves.. ahh whatever you need.. now we’re drunk.. we’ll be in jail… But I’ll RAAPE you master! It never fails! He’s always got my ass on his mind.. and it’s short in fact.. and when he wacks at me, wacks it all night long and that is that.. now beastman, beastman.. what do you know about taking off your clothes?

your just a slut from down below.. in castle greyskull, comon.. ((snort)) hoarr skeletor, i shave my legs for you tonight.. and if you see my cock.. i hope you go in fright.. ((snort)) hoarr! skeletor, you made me do some coke! ((snort)) hoar, i'm up all night and it's no joke!.. wahh, furry fool, breakdance, take off your furry pants.. take off your high heels.. and put them in your ass!.. Now somebody is tip-toe-ing, and someone just came in.. and someone's pretty fat.. ((snort)) beastman's pretty thin! roarr.. i've got AIDS! ((snort)) beastman AIDS! And i'll spread it into every good boy and girl today! watch me give you cumstains in your fucking draws.. beastman! watch your mouth! we don't need that language anymore! ((snort)) no skeletor!.. don't you want to see me work it now? ((snort)).. beastman show them how, you're gunna get my ass and plow!

now stick your cock inside, like raekon fucking said.. that faggot fucker douche bag only knows how to give head .. to men.. in bed.. his face is getting red.. ((snort)) roarrr, listen to everything i fucking said.. arrrr.. ((snorting))

what up yall, stimpith j. here.
Its sad to know that tomorrow all of us little high school kiddies have to return to school. However, i must admit this was one of the most interesting christmas vacations i have probably ever had. Here's a little recap:

I cut my finger off
Simon got his face knocked in
There was a new addition to the [SMUT] family (the bong)
kevins car died (R.I.P. K wagon)
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER became the [SMUT] guardsman

Yes, a very interesting christmas vacation indeed. Happy New year everyone and ill see you in school tomorrow

Stimpith J.

And last but not least, one of the most humungous
Problems among young people today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
Bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of ’em..

Crazy fucking night.. going to get food and then pass out!

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Briana Banks will be at Stiletos on January 15. SMUT will be at Stiletos on January 15.

I also updated the SMUT site.

Have a SMUTTY day!

Ah good evening [smuts] and [sluts] alike, after plenty of bullshit technical difficulties i have finally been able to get into the [SMUT] blog site. there shall indeed be more posts later, but for now i must bid farewell to all.

Stimpith J.

Here's something to do in your spare time (which is a surplus in Rockland):

The next time you're at the Palisades Mall, walk over to Wendy's in the food court. Carefully observe the Wendy's logo above the restaurant. Notice anything strange?


P.S. No more large, detailed blogs from me.

Friday, January 02, 2004

New Years. It's 2004 (although according to 98% of my relatives it's 1382). Rejoice. I went to paul's where the cops came after about two hours. Paul, being in the mob that he is, tried to bribe the cops. I went to Amanda Leanard's afterwards. I have yet to actually see this girl Amanda even though I've been to her house about 4 times now. Then I went to bobs with 15 minutes to spare before the new year was ushered in. At 12:01, I went to get BK, desiree, doug, and jes mcgannon from amanda lenards because they were stuck. It took them 20 minutes to leave, which did annoy me. Anyway, back to bobs, it was fun. Everyone was being Dr. Phil which is a good thing, I suppose, but annoying when you want to have fun and are being told not to disturb people every which way. Let's just say there was a lot of "tree blocking" last night. Anyway, its 2004. Whooopdi fucking doo. Rockland still sucks...people in rockland sucks. O well.

-Suicide Smutter

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Last night was a SMUTASTROPHE.

Cindy was so hot in her PJ's.

Kevin Rodriguez is awesome.

White boys think they can dance when they're drunk.

Have you seen my bottle of vodka?!

$20 bets! $50 bet!?

New pics on the SMUT site soon!

Happy New Year everyone!